Submitted story-

Anonymous please,

one day I was walking to my school busstop and I was in seventh grade, but I did look older for my age, and I was dressed up for a field trip So while I was walking a truck was stopped but there were no cars and he wouldn’t move so I just walked behind the truck and he finally turned but then he made a u turn but I was on the other side of the street and he started yelling out his window. So I got to my bus stop and was a bit startled, my bus wasn’t going to be there for ten more minutes and the other students always came at the last minute but I didn’t see the truck so I just put in my headphone and relaxed. About two minutes later the truck was parked on the street and the man got out and said something to me. I pulled out my earbuds and said “what?” and he asked “do you need a ride?” I said no and he went behind me and was messing with construction material(a house was being built). So about two minutes later the other girl finally came I was waving to her ( she was in her car and usually didn’t come out until the bus came and I usually didn’t wave to her) so the man saw that and finally got back into his truck and watched me until I got on the school bus. When I was at school I asked one of my law teachers if that was legal and he told me to tell my parents but when I got home my mother said ” that skirt is awfully short, I’m surprised you didn’t get raped” so I decided not to tell her about it and only a couple close friends know about it. Its hard to not be able to tell my own mother about the experience because she makes remarks about girls clothing a LOT! She doesn’t understand its not the victims fault its the perpetrators fault! Thanks for letting me vent and I love this account! Sexism and victim blaming needs to stop.

—Thank you for sharing! You would think a mother wouldn’t take the thought of her own daughter getting raped so lightly. So many women are in denial and disillusioned by the patriarchy. Even though I know my mother loves me and supports me, I can’t talk to her about being a survivor without the conversation ending in tears because of comments similar to this. This is exactly why we need spaces where we can support each other without victim blaming. And also why there needs to be awareness. So many people haven’t the faintest clue as to how their language perpetuates a culture where rape is rampant and victims are blamed and kept silent.

selfcareafterrape:

Respecting a survivor’s sense of self is really the biggest thing- and as always, Support and Affirm Worth.

I hope you guys are having a fabulous Wednesday, and as always, take care of yourselves <3

"

I guarantee you that every person of color in this country has faced an indignity from the ridiculous, to the grotesque, to the sometimes fatal, at some point - in the last couple hours - because of their skin color.

Race is there and it is a constant. You’re tired of hearing about it? Imagine how fucking exhausting it is living it.

"

Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, 8/26/14 (via klarizewatchesmovies)

Pro-everything he said is completely true.

Con-black ppl have been saying this forever, but when a white guy says it-it becomes a story.

(via tigerwithagoldchain)

A message from Anonymous
What are your views of other women that look down on other women for wearing less clothes then them or being comfortable with their sexuality. I see a lot of girls attack other girls because they post probody pictures of their butts boobs etc. They will say you can't be feminist basically because you are not conservative. I'm just confused as of why people think just because you wear booty shorts that means your not a feminist. Feminism has nothing to do with booty shorts or booty pics lol
A reply from newwavefeminism

you’re absolutely right. feminism is NOT about policing other expressions of feminity.

thepoliticalfreakshow:

African-American Girls &amp; Women Killed By Police: Speak Their Names. See Their Faces. Know Their Stories.
There is this false myth going around that Black women are not victims of police violence. I believe the myth exists because quite frankly the media, social justice organizations and we the public tend not to focus on it. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope this post will make all of us change our minds. Here are the stories of some of the Black women and girls killed by law enforcement:
Adaisha Miller, Detroit Woman, Hugged Cop From Behind
LAPD cop charged with assault in death of Alesia Thomas
7-year- old Aiyana Stanley-Jones – Detroit Free Press
17 Year Old Darnesha Harris Dead after Run-In with Breaux
Mackala Ross and Delores Epps
Eleanor Bumpurs
Erica Collins family files lawsuit against Cincy Police
Pleasant Grove crash claims life of second person | AL.com (Heather Parker)
Family grieves after loved one killed in crash with APD (Jacqueline Culp)
Family of victim question police use of deadly force – KWCH (Karen Day)
Kendra James remembered at Portland rally | KOIN.com
Pedestrian Killed on I-95 in Florida (Laporsha Watson)
After Cleveland shooting, cities restrict police chases(Malissa Williams)
Miriam Carey, Capitol Suspect, Suffered Post-Partum Depression
Elderly Woman Shot &amp; Killed By Hearne Police Officer (Pearlie Golden)
Rekia Boyd Settlement: Family Of Unarmed Chicago Woman
Former Pa. trooper pleads guilty in fatal accident (Robin T. Williams)
Shantel Davis Killed By NYPD Cop In Car Chase | News One
Friends: Woman killed by police was nonviolent | Las Vegas (Sharmel Edwards)
Suspected Walmart Shoplifter Shot To Death In Front Of Kids (Shelly Frey)
The NYPD’s Poor Judgment With the Mentally Ill | Village Voice (Shereese Francis)
Harrisburg woman identified as victim in police SUV crash (Shulena S. Weldon)
$2.5M settlement in shooting of Lima woman by police officer (Tarika Wilson)
No Charges in Killing of Tyisha Miller – Los Angeles Times
Texas Police Admit Officer Shot &amp; Killed Unarmed Woman (Yvette Smith)

thepoliticalfreakshow:

African-American Girls & Women Killed By Police: Speak Their Names. See Their Faces. Know Their Stories.

There is this false myth going around that Black women are not victims of police violence. I believe the myth exists because quite frankly the media, social justice organizations and we the public tend not to focus on it. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope this post will make all of us change our minds. Here are the stories of some of the Black women and girls killed by law enforcement:

Adaisha Miller, Detroit Woman, Hugged Cop From Behind

LAPD cop charged with assault in death of Alesia Thomas

7-year- old Aiyana Stanley-JonesDetroit Free Press

17 Year Old Darnesha Harris Dead after Run-In with Breaux

Mackala Ross and Delores Epps

Eleanor Bumpurs

Erica Collins family files lawsuit against Cincy Police

Pleasant Grove crash claims life of second person | AL.com (Heather Parker)

Family grieves after loved one killed in crash with APD (Jacqueline Culp)

Family of victim question police use of deadly force – KWCH (Karen Day)

Kendra James remembered at Portland rally | KOIN.com

Pedestrian Killed on I-95 in Florida (Laporsha Watson)

After Cleveland shooting, cities restrict police chases(Malissa Williams)

Miriam Carey, Capitol Suspect, Suffered Post-Partum Depression

Elderly Woman Shot & Killed By Hearne Police Officer (Pearlie Golden)

Rekia Boyd Settlement: Family Of Unarmed Chicago Woman

Former Pa. trooper pleads guilty in fatal accident (Robin T. Williams)

Shantel Davis Killed By NYPD Cop In Car Chase | News One

Friends: Woman killed by police was nonviolent | Las Vegas (Sharmel Edwards)

Suspected Walmart Shoplifter Shot To Death In Front Of Kids (Shelly Frey)

The NYPD’s Poor Judgment With the Mentally Ill | Village Voice (Shereese Francis)

Harrisburg woman identified as victim in police SUV crash (Shulena S. Weldon)

$2.5M settlement in shooting of Lima woman by police officer (Tarika Wilson)

No Charges in Killing of Tyisha MillerLos Angeles Times

Texas Police Admit Officer Shot & Killed Unarmed Woman (Yvette Smith)

Aug. 26 11:55 am

justice4mikebrown:

On Beyonce in the previous post…

NOT TO MENTION: Beyonce has stadiums screaming and chanting ‘EAT THE CAKE ANNA MAE’ - completely making a mockery of the real Anna Mae aka Tina Turner, a fellow woman of color and survivor of domestic abuse and sexual assault at the hands of Ike Turner. The quote ‘eat the cake’ directly comes from an actor playing him in What’s Love Got To Do With It, in a scene where he’s being abusive because of his jealousy of her career.

I want to love Beyonce but I just fucking can’t. Not with that bullshit. If you let your husband make a joke out of a DV and SA survivor’s life, I have a serious problem with you.

And it makes me wonder how healthy their relationship is. I already hated Jay Z, but now I am extra suspect of how he treats women, specifically black women.

Only one radio station in my city censored the line, and that was our only hip hop & r&b station predominantly run by black people. They knew what was up.

Younger generations- DO YOUR RESEARCH! Don’t let these money hungry assholes infiltrate your mind with DV & SA jokes because you’re too young to remember Tina Turner.

america-wakiewakie:

Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, and Black Feminism | the negress

August 31, 2012

It’s easy for black women to like Beyonce. She’s a single female entity of commercial success, unapologetic sass, and Girl Power anthems.

But it’s harder to see that the success of her persona relies on its ability to balance the dynamics of female power. The tightrope that gives any  woman permission to be independent, sexual, and bold; so long as she is not too tough, not too slutty, not too “bitchy”, so long as she doesn’t pose a real threat to male power.

The same idea plays out in her music. 2001 brought the release of Destiny’s Childs’ Independent Woman, a so-called salute of financial empowerment that urged you to “throw your hands up” if you bought the car you were driving and the “rock” you were “rockin”. But in 2004, came Cater 2 U, a nod to the 1950s housewife era of man-pleasing that called for running his bathwater or rubbing his feet. Getting his “dinner, slippers, dessert, and so much more.”

In 2008 it was Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It), a relationship revenge song about “doing your own thing”, but only if your man wouldn’t marry you first. And in 2011, we got Girls Run the World a declaration of female domination that claimed women were “smart enough to make the millions/strong enough to bear the children.”

Her songs, though with explicit “empowerment” content, have retroactive connotations about relationships, sexuality and gender roles; a woman of modern means who still wants to preserve old fashioned morals. The lyrical nudge that reminds you to “let the man be the man”, be strong but foremost feminine, that after all, you’re still a woman first.

And what Beyonce doesn’t say about female power, she shows with her body. In every music video centered around salacious curves and how well she can shake and grind in the scraps of fabric that all but cover them.

Female sexuality in and of itself has the capacity to be subversive and freeing; but when it is only ever seen in simplistic tits-and-ass sort of ways–in the very same context of female “empowerment”–it eventually sends the subliminal message that pussy and power are inextricably linked. That the body determines your final value, and you are ultimately the sum of its parts.

Enter Nicki Minaj. The eccentric, Queens-bred spitfire who managed to climb the echelons of male-dominated hip-hop and land somewhere on the top. And in many ways, she’s more progressive than Beyonce: She exudes a more complex, subtle version of sexuality, refers to her fans in unisex terms of “Barbz” (and Ken Barbz for gay men) and speaks poignantly about the challenges of being a female MC:

When I am assertive, I’m a bitch. When a man is assertive, he’s aboss.He bossed up! No negative connotation behind ‘bossed up’. But lots of negative connotation behind being a bitch… You have to be–you have to be dope at what you do, but you have to be super sweet and you have to be sexy and you have to be this and you have to be that and you have to be nice and you have to… It’s like, I can’t be all those things at once. I’m a human being…

But as much as Minaj tries to break through the chains of a mans’ world, she’s still complacent in the very system that confines her. Instead of denouncing the unrealistic beauty standards for women, she fully embraces them. She fires off lyrics like “pretty bitches only can get in my posse” (Stupid Hoe) and her image of choice, the Barbie, is the most extreme hetero-normative icon of beauty in existence. Instead of rebelling against the double-standard of female sexuality by discussing her own in the same braggadocious manner of male rappers, she boasts about her so-called respectability, in one interview saying: “if every nigga can say that he had you, you’re not exclusive, you’re not a bad bitch.” And instead of forming alliance with the scant of female hip-hop artists, she pits herself against them in girl-on-girl beefs; hurling childish insults and degrading remarks.

It was at the end of Stupid Hoe that Minaj referred to herself as the “female Weezy”; a sentiment that perfectly describes the way in which she sees herself. Not as her own separate female identity but as an extension of a mans; like Eve coming to life after taking Adam’s rib. And in many ways, that’s true. She’s taken the most negative aspects of mainstream hip-hop—misogyny, materialism, violence, competitiveness—put a dress on it, and called it her own.

What’s ironic is that Beyonce and Nicki Minaj are perpetually cited as “feminists” or “female role models”. But even when they’re being “feminist” they only tip-toe around the status quo, operating safety within the parameters of patriarchy. They seek to sell a shiny package of Girl Power that is just edgy enough to make us feel empowered, but not radical enough to encourage any real political change.

The personas of Beyonce and Nicki Minaj embody the exact same masculine/feminine dichotomy of many black women in America who have bought into the myth of the Strong Black Woman. A woman who is either like Beyonce—the herculean superhero seamlessly juggling her independence with femininity —or like Nicki,–the take-no-shit tough girl who thinks playing by a mans’ rules will make him forget she’s a woman.

But within the Strong Black woman myth lies the reality of the black female experience. The hardcore persona really only manifests itself in cattiness and competitiveness toward other women, but in relation to men, the armor cracks open to reveal a submissive vulnerability that looks more like weakness. It’s a persona that, even while being masculinized, tries to remain extremely feminine; curvaceous and soft-bodied, possessive of European features—light skin, long hair— a baby doll face, a masterful cook and housekeeper, an exuberant sex appeal, and passive demeanor.

It’s the oxymoronic dance the two personas engage in; two steps forward and three steps back, awkwardly trying to find a way to fit together but only cancel each other out.

Society likes to perpetuate the idea that black women hold their partners accountable, that unlike the White Girls, Black Girls don’t “put up” with no mans’ shit. But in truth, loyalty runs deep within the black female culture; the Ride or Die mentality, the allegiance to Your Man that means placing his needs above anything and everything else. It’s the reason black women suffer rates of domestic abuse that is 35% higher than white women (22 times higher than women of other races) and make up 1/3 of intimate partner homicides in the country. Or the reason black women account for 30% of the total HIV/AIDs infections among blacks (a rate 15 times higher than that of white women).

The Strong Black Woman persona also claims to be in control of her decisions at all times. Yet, millions of black women poured over Steve Harvey’s relationship advice books; the ones that would instruct them on  how to walk, talk, dress, and act in order to get and keep a man.

Many “Independent women” are also deeply religious. They value autonomy but also adhere to the patriarchal structure of the church that insists that a woman be “obedient” to men, that she “know her place.”

The way these two contradictory images play out also inform black womens’ ideas about gendered politics. The actual pursuit of social, economic, or personal equality is seen as unnecessary and obsolete. Because in many ways I think the Strong Black Woman myth almost feels feminist enough, feels menacing and potent enough to mistake for real power.

The problem with Beyonce or Nicki Minaj isn’t so much the persona, but what happens when we buy into it: We get so distracted by the empty rhetoric of “girl power” and “Independent woman” that we forget just how much political progress we have yet to make. We get seduced, over and over, with the same images of the Strong Black Woman and its false implications of gender equality. We fall in love with the allusion of power, and walk away broken-hearted every single time.

"Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing, and start living."
Daniell Koepke (via hollywoodhepcat)